I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize