Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
