This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
