FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
