Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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