Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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