we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
