ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
