we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
