Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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