just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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