pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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