Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
