haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am midnight drunk by noon
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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