just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
