so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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