Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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