You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
