If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
