If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My breasts were aching with rage.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
