Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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