People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize