we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
nutella sex= disaster
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
