i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
