If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sober January is a disaster.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
