I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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