And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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