And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
