On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize