I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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