Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Watching her eat just hurts me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize