Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
