I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
