Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
