dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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