Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
