Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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