hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
