Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
