Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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