38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize