So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
