Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize