dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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