This girl is more easily done than said...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
