who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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