I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
