sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
are you so shy because you have an std?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize