This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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