The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
