She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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