I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
