dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
