my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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