DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
